tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2039630778761418972024-03-08T04:39:16.494-08:00Just Practical LifeWe are made up of systems. Whether we bother to manage those systems gives us a clear view as to why some look confused while others seem to always find the easier path in life. Either way its a choice. Those having the easier path have learned that each system works together. Neglecting one of those systems affects the others. Applicable practical life skills are needed and easily explained here. Basically, people need help and this can be the learning tool you can use week by week to get it.makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203963077876141897.post-78582994061900895052012-02-16T07:49:00.000-08:002012-02-16T07:49:18.460-08:00If Frustrated, Go To HimI was answering these questions on another website and was wondering if someone is just sitting at a desk making these questions up rather them being from actually people who find these things are real problems. Its what some of us think when looking at reality T.V. or the court shows that are viewed. Because we are not in those types of situations and can't see ourselves doing some of the stupid things that some people do, we tend to think that they can't be real. Many times I wonder what happened to common sense. Don't you?<br />
<br />
But when no one reads the guide to life, you get what you get (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy+30:19&version=KJV">Deuteronomy 30:19 KJV</a>). Is it easier to do that hit and miss kind of tactic so that their children won't make the same mistakes? That's why you tell your children of the mistakes made - right? But isn't that what the bible is there for? And if it is so hard to understand for some people, isn't that what church is there for? I mean, well, God is good and the Heavenly Father of us all. So it would make sense that Him being good would give us a guide to follow. Its what any good father would do - provide for his children. But there we go back to common sense because there are those that are called good fathers and don't even do the simplest of things to be called good (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%207:11-12&version=KJV">Matthew 7:11-12 KJV).</a><br />
<br />
How is it that we spend so much time reading things that won't do us a bit of good in the long scheme of things and won't take the time to do what could change our lives for the better? How is it that there are those that criticize someone's faith in the bible and not read it for themselves to find out why anyone hold onto their beliefs? Is it easier to believe that one can do it all themselves or that there is a Greater One watching over you? Why blame God for matters in life when you didn't believe in Him in the first place?<br />
<br />
Tiring of the questions people have of a faith they never tried to study, I looked at my history of answering such questions and saw the last time I tried to answer some was 7 months ago. Before then it was 3years ago. Either I am being worn down, tolerating more, or have grown up to be more of an assistance to others. I hope the things I have answered are of some assistance and these entries read are of further use.<br />
<br />
I stopped writing this particular blog thinking it was too academic for anyone to use. The emergence of it is in response to the aforementioned questions. Please click on the links used as a reference. I will do my best to maintain this blog as well. Be blessed.makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203963077876141897.post-64221518726597367772010-06-03T06:39:00.000-07:002010-06-03T06:39:51.816-07:00Do Your Own SearchThere are far too many people that put their trust in professionals not knowing anything about them. Yes, I understand the concept of paying someone for their expertise because they went to school for that special subject that you not have the inkling nor the weatheral to stomach going through the hours they endured for the lectures, books, studying, tests, exams, just to do it all over again and keep abreast of any new reports that could make them do their jobs even better. With all of that tenacity to keep at it to get that specialized degree for the purpose of helping other people, it doesn't change the character of the integrity of the person.<br />
<br />
How do find a professional with integrity? How do find an excellent lawyer, doctor, surgeon, dentist, building contractor, accountant, bank manager, or the like who isn't looking to clean all of your assets? Face it, there are too many people these days that went to school and chose the professions that they did soley for the money.<br />
<br />
I would like to pose a few scenarios. You look at the dynamics of them and create a means where thwe layperson can come out of it ahead of the game.<br />
<br />
Scenario #1:<br />
You have a horrendous toothache and are going to see a dentist that one of your co-workers recommends. She has been going to this dentist since she was a child and has never steered her wrong in all of the years she has been going to him. He makes sure that you will not feel any pain and does not do any unnecessary procedurtes that you don't need... she says. So based on her word, you go see this dental professional. He has the hygenist do what she does and then comes to see you. Upon the first glance of your tooth, he says, "you have to have that pulled." You know it is a wisdom tooth and there is no reason to pull it if it isn't decayed. You convey that you would like to keep all of your teeth at all costs. He tells you that because of the shape of your face that you wouldn't be able to clean it properly and it will have to be pulled because of decay anyway, it might as well be now. You are in excruciating pain and know that what the dentist just said was crap! You ask could he free the gums from around the tooth so you won't feel any pain. He says no. Then he leaves with the hygenist who comes back in a few minutes to finish the cleaning you thought was already complete. She pokes at your gum with a pointy metal thing and asks if that hurts? You frown and nodd; she leaves to tell the dentist. He comes back with the x-rays to show a shadow around your tooth and says it is hidden tooth decay. What do you do?<br />
<br />
Scenario #2:<br />
You have been married for less than a year and are pregnant with twins. You are just elated with being a parent for the first time and everyone else is giving you such support and well wishes. The doctor has asked you some odd questions about you history (work, education, and income). Not knowing what that has to do with anything, you answer all of the questions that he says are necessary for the files. The pregnancy is going well although there has been a few times where the doctor says some little comments that are unnerving seeing it is your first pregnancy. He waits for your respionse to the odd things he says. The more questions you have the more inuendoes he seems to tell. Shaking off the wierdness of the conversation because the last thing you asked he said it had nothing to do with your health, the babies, or the outcome of the delivery. Then out of the blue after your scheduled visit, you get a frantic call from one the nurses who states that you have to come back to the office as soon as possible. The tests came back and showed something that the doctor must see know it isn't what he thinks it is. What is it, you ask. The nurse says that she can't say and it would be better that you come in and speak to the doctor. Knowing that you dont have a reason to be alarmed that you, the babies, your family and your spouse's family are all healthy you say with much confidence and conviction, " if it is all that important, have the doctor call me to make an appointment." The nurse answers with a tone as if it would be to your benefit to do as she asks, you hang up the phone. The doctor calls and says that the tests came back that you are a carrier of (pick an ethnic ailment of your nationality). You are in your 8th month and he is requiring a pelvic exam for some ailment that requires a blood test that you know you don't have and couldn't possibly be a carrier of. What do you do?<br />
<br />
Scenario # 3:<br />
Your car sounds funny. It sounds like the transmission. You have had the car (used) for about a year and have been taking good care of it. When going to the dealer, you see the salesman who sold you the car. She is very friendly and assures that the mechanics will find whatever the problem is and for you not to worry. When seeing the mechanic, you tell him what the problem is. He claims that you ned for the transmission to be overhauled and that will run you about $1500.00. Not expecting to have to spend that much, you have to make a decision. You simply can't keep driving the car with it sounding like it does. The mechanic is looking at you for answer as to what to do. He is not giving any other recourse that might not be as expensive. The warranty has run out and you know there is nothing else that sales person is going to do. The sale is done. She couldn't care less if set fire to the car. Just at that moment, you know it would be better just to get a tune up. Can't explain why you know this, you just do. When you tell this to the mechanic, he becomes soooo agitated as if you were making a decision about his car. He says that you are going to ruin the car if you don't do as he suggested. You maintain with your decision. The tune up takes an inordinate amount of time and when giving the diagnostic, you see that all of the fluids have been checked and filled. The mechanic is still clearly annoyed with you and shows this by not giving you the complimentary wasjhing of the vehicle when you leave. Oh well, the car is fixed, you say to yourself. You don't need the car washed anyway. You leave the garage and notice that your car sounds the same. Again, you get the feeling to go to a car parts store and get some transmission fluid. Checking the fluid witht he dipstick, you find the container completely empty. Filling it then driving, you see the car resumes sounding in top shape. You realize the mechanic was trying to cheat you out of some major cash that would have cost you $4.75. Angry at what has happened, what do you do?<br />
<br />
Those are three separate scenarios that has happened to me. I have changedsmall bits and pieces where you could see yourself in them. My reaction could be completey different than what you would do. The point is, if you don't have some information before going into the so called professional establishment, it is like going to a wolf's den who sees you as prey. Your weapons of defense are being informed so you can be respected and the wolf sees he cannot take advantage of you. It isn't about going back to school (unless if thats what you would like to do), but just getting some minor facts. You have the internet. It is easy now.<br />
<br />
With all of this new fangled technology, you have to be more aware than ever before. Remember the liquid protein that was suppose revelutionize the diet industry. People died from that. Think about all of the animal tested products for human safety. The long and short of that is, how do doctors know that the tested product doesn't cause some mental incapacity? Animals don't talk. Studying an animal's behavior doesn't mean that humans will react the same way. How is it that one set of medical professionals profess to keep from processed foods for your health and yet the medication is processed? The law requires for pharmeceutical companies to advertise the side effects to mediucations along with the benefits. When I asked my doctor why give a med that might cause such side effects and his answer is, well the side effects isn't as bad as the initial issue. Isn't that a matter of opinion seeing that the doctor won't be experiencing the side effects. Who's body is it anyway?<br />
<br />
Just be alert and do your homework before embarking with telling any professional anything. He has many questions for you before taking your case. Shouldn't you have questions of your own before giving him your business? <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hosea%204:6&version=AMP">(Hosea 4:6 AMP)</a>makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203963077876141897.post-51761328746183848782010-04-27T02:23:00.000-07:002010-04-27T02:23:16.814-07:00My Dad Is Bigger Than YoursI remember such words being flagrantly spoken on a playground. With boys it was the makings of a fight. With girls it was a moment for discussion and then the decision whether or not to remain friends. Which ever the gender, the mere fact of the matter that with a Dad being there, he served as a safe place. There was someone there larger than myself who knows more than me and Mom put together. He doesn't buckle under pressure and seems to handle every situation with ease. There was absolutley nothing to worry about.<br />
<br />
These days there are too many children who physically grew up not knowing who their father is and what he can do. Unfortunately, no one says that it is because of the poor decisions made but it is lile growing with something missing. The necessity of having <a href="http://www.thefineartofparenting.com/public/156.cfm">a father</a> goes without saying seeing the plight of the "nuclear family" these days.<br />
<br />
And so, not having the joy of playground antics by daring someone to have a bigger or <a href="http://www.womensradio.com/articles/We-All-Need-a-Father-Figure-to-Lean-On/52.html">better father</a>, the child grows with the pressures of the world on his/her shoulders. He starts believing that no one loves him and that swells into other matters. I have counseled such children trying to find other means for them to be successful adults. Once some path has been made clear, one announcement on the news or certain celebrity's untimely demise and that clearing vanishes.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.childrensjustice.org/every_child_needs_father.html">Psychiatrists and child psychologists</a> are now finding how much children really do need structure and discipline. Gone are those foolish years of being the child's best friend first before being a real parent. A parent is better than a child's friend any day of the week. The parent that came up with friendship first was more consicouly aware of getting older than what was best for the child. What does a child have to brag about when his middle aged mother is still trying to look like the "material girl" and his father (if there) has to shake off his new compact hot rod off his hip just to get out of it? Put yourself in that child's shoes, would you rather have been an orphan or be embarrassed by introducing either of those two people calling themselves your <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+18:24&version=AMP">friends</a> but are your parents?<br />
<br />
Orphans are no longer living in halfways houses with others just like them as depicted in such movies as <em>Oliver Twist</em>, <em>Orphan Annie</em>, and the <em>Chicago Boys</em>. They seem to be everywhere. The products of women believing they could have it all visiting sperm banks periodically to the teenaged girls looking for Mr Right Now. Both of those types of women have to work to provide for what they choose to do and the fruit of their loins have to search for emotional maturation elsewhere.<br />
<br />
That search for <a href="http://www.allseasonsvt.org/emotional.html">emotional maturation</a> can lead to some mental illnesses. Where will they go? Who are they talking to? Who or what is it that is influencing them? How they think didn't come by osmosis. The cares of the world can be too much for any one person to bare. How does a child digest the headlines of homicides, suicides, genocide, and the like? Where is the father to explain these matters so the child can have that care-free life?<br />
<br />
Personally, I had to believe that there is someone bigger than me. Someone who created this world and everyone it it. Someone who knew that people were going to make mistakes and someone was going to learn from them while others just gave up. Someone else has to shoulder the burden of all that has happened and what is still to come. It is my personal belief in God.<br />
<br />
No matter what anyone else says and how they make fun of a being greater than myself, my faith in Him has given me peace that surpasses all understanding. Scoffers can say what they will but do they have a restful sleep at night? Do they find joy in the midst of their environment? Can they readily resolve daily pressure? I do, I can, I do.<br />
<br />
I have this mighty <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy%2031:6&version=AMP">God</a> - my heavenly Father, who is much bigger than those cares, burdens, and pressures <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+55:22&version=NIV">(Psalms 55:22 NIV).</a> So why carry it if you don't have to? If you never had a father, you can now. All you have to do is believe that He is.<br />
<br />
Oh, and by the way, when those scoffers come to make fun ( and they will), notice the tone and anger in their voice. Why are they upset? Who are you hurting when you cast off those cares on God? Why would anyone be pleased with seeing you loaded down or oppressed? Could it be, that they know <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+68:4-6&version=AMP">He</a> is actually bigger?makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203963077876141897.post-76646022892522477112010-03-05T05:39:00.000-08:002010-03-05T05:39:51.894-08:00Why Don't You Go to Church Anymore (part 1)?It is a question I have asked a few people and there are a myriad of answers; which, if we were really being honest, a bunch of excuses for not doing what you know is good for you. <br />
<br />
Even that doesn't make sense because we do everything else (practically) that's supposes to be good for us having retained the understanding for that. We know and have learned to eat food that is nutritious. It doesn't necessarily have to taste good but when we understand that it is good for the health of our physical bodies, we develop the taste for it and eat it anyway. Every once in awhile we'll taste a fast food item but we have also learned the more we stay away from those things that aren't good the less we crave the taste for them.<br />
<br />
This would also be true with getting regular dental check ups and physicals. The dentist/doctor tells us what we have been doing wrong and if this or that doesn't change then there will be some harsh repercussions. What happens? Eventually, change occurs. It start with making the decision to do so. Once the decision is made everything else follows that decision.<br />
<br />
That decision, if a good one, influences other matters in our lives. if the decision is to lie in bed and sleep rather than getting up and extra hour early to exercise then you cannot be upset with the results. If the decision is to lounge/bar hop until the wee hours knowing you have a presentation in the morning, whose fault is that? If the decision is to keep clutter at a minimum by giving clothes or household items away that you haven't used in years then the result is having an orderly home that is easy to manage and maintain.<br />
<br />
Decisions are easy to make once we have the knowledge and understanding so what is decided can be of quality rather than made from pressure. There are no regrets when understanding and knowledge are in place. When we know that it is good, we simply do it. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=hosea%204:6&version=NIV">(Hosea 4:6 NIV)</a>, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+18:21&version=AMP">(Proverbs 18:21 AMP)</a>, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy+30:19&version=NIV">(Deuteronomy 30:19 NIV)</a>makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203963077876141897.post-64397885105542871392010-03-05T05:22:00.000-08:002010-03-05T05:22:17.490-08:00Why Don't You Go to Church Anymore (part 2)?Doctors say that excercise releases certain <a href="http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/bb/neuro/neuro05/web2/mmcgovern.html">endorphins</a>. Endorphins are hormones in the body which makes us feel good. These endorphins also motivate some people to keep a regiment of some sort of physical activity. Haven't you heard some say that when they don't exercise, they feel blah? They have gotten use to the <a href="http://hubpages.com/hub/ExerciseandTheEndorphinRush">endorphin release</a> and are trying to keep that feeling. It is better and much healthier than trying to get a pseudo-euphoric feeling that alcohol/drugs can only temporarily give.With drugs/alcohol the side effects oppose endorphins which then also regulate sound decisions. Feeling food or escaping reality is what an addict/alcoholic think about and the results follow.<br />
<br />
Recently a study of endorphins also found that taking a vacation from time to time also causes <a href="http://ezinearticles.com/?Can-a-Beach-Vacation-Improve-Your-Health?&id=3291855">the mind to rest</a>. Those who vacation do better in school, work, and home. Getting away from the daily grind just to have fun cleanses the mind and is health to your body. This would also be true (in smaller increments) in getting a <a href="http://www.medicinenet.com/sleep/article.htm">good night's sleep</a> (to bed before 11:00 p.m. and to be up and alert no sooner than 5:30 a.m.), as well with allowing 1 day to rest within a week. That is 6 days of work and 1 day not to do anything but relax. What happens? Endorphins!<br />
<br />
Isn't that what we like from life - to feel good? Does it really have to be hard or can we have days of knowing we have done good toady? Believing or thinking that life has hardships when we understand that good decisions make good results just doesn't make sense. Yet if we think it without making the effort of research for ourselves then who is to blame? Aren't we responsible for what we do? <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2015:28&version=KJV">(Proverbs 15:28 KJV) </a>makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203963077876141897.post-1472674952360600572010-03-05T04:46:00.000-08:002010-03-05T04:46:35.959-08:00Why Don't You Go to Church Anymore (part 3)?Responsibility is a crossroads for some. It is a poressure that the unequiped try to escape. we see this in family/divorce court, jail houses, bars, and on street corners. Life is hard for them because of what they believed, a decision was made, and the result followed. It doesn't feel good, there are no endorphins, and saying what they hate is more likely then enjoying all whart could have been.<br />
<br />
Regret (guilt, remorse, low self esteem, despair, grief, discouragement) come when people get to their lowest point. Some rely on superficial means (alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, brawls, etc.) to get from their slump. These things don't work. Others come to a place where there is levity or at least a means to be happy. Studies have been done about having faith in someone bigger than ourselves. Just knowing that the pressures of life not being on our backs is in of itself a release off of our minds. The poverty in the world, war, the children without parents, thieves, prostitutes, drug addicts, car crashes, cities in ruin, the recession, scandalous politicians, influential celebrities with sorted lives, was just all too overwhelming to view each and everyday. Its alot to shoulder and if carried for long periods can explain the mental/emotional health of some people. Understanding that no one person can everything about social plight everywhere. We make charitable donations to those who need. Whether it actually gets to the people isn't your worry. You have done your part. If you think you should do more, then make a career out of it. Go study and see what job is best suited for you to make the changes you have a passion to do.<br />
<br />
God created the world. God created people. People make decisions - good or bad. Having the belief that God sees all and is patient for us to do what is right takes time. Think of it this way, when your parent made decisions for you, how long was it before you rebelled? When did your parent stiop cleaning up your messes and allowed you to see what you have done? How long did it take for you to grow up and be the person you are now - responsible, successful, productive? It siwhat a parent hopes for.<br />
<br />
God is good. God is our heavenly Father. If your parent , having to learn what good is before teaching you to be good, how much more would our heavenly Father do for us?<br />
<br />
Out of all that is offered in life for us, there is no endorphin that feels better than having faith. Witht hat decision, the best results follow. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy+30:19&version=NIV">(Deuteronomy 30:19 NIV)</a>, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+15:14&version=AMP">(Proverbs 15:4 AMP)</a>makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203963077876141897.post-57186938155002066802010-02-26T07:06:00.000-08:002010-02-26T07:06:28.426-08:00Make Up Your Bed!As children life was so simple. All we had to do was eat our vegetables and have fun. As we grew older things got a tiny bit more complex; we had responsibilities other than just having fun. We had to keep up with our hygiene, clean our rooms and put away our toys... but fun was still in the mix so hemming and hawing was but for a moment and the new responsibilites became habits. It was for our good and social acceptance was much easier as we learned what the need for those habits were.<br />
<br />
Who knew that those simple things like brushing teeth, taking a bath, putting our toys away and making up our beds would carry us into a world that made bigger responsibilites much easier to do? Think about it, those that we work with that don't seem like they can get the easiest tasks done, what do you think their home life is like? You know that there home training had to be taught in a cave or under a rock! When I start a new job, without thought, I have to get the desk organized so I can do my job proficiently. I was talking to a co-worker while I was separating the paperclips from the rubber bands. The co-worker was mesmerized by what I was doing and didn't understand why it was necessary for me to do. I didn't know how to answer that other than it seemed to be out of place. Compulsive or just neat and orderly - a judgement call.<br />
<br />
When does life become so overwhelming that a grown child goes back home? When that child didn't learn the basics as habits. This is why some parents enable their grown children to come back home because they believe they didn't give their children the skills they needed. <br />
<br />
Parents, get over the guilt. Your children have learned survival skills in order to manipulate you to believe that you still have to house them! It is easy to blame the economy, the recession, no one is hiring, no one is willing to rent to a mother with so many children, and the like... but I would like to challenge any of you in that situation, what skills do you have to get yourself out of that bind? What do you recall from your childhood whether it be at home or in school; what is it that you learned that can take you from a social cripple at home with Mom (again) to a viable, productive, successful adult?<br />
<br />
I was there; back at home as an adult. I didn't vent with a bunch of excuses but I had them ready if I needed them. Even writitng this, I have to keep myself from typing at least one to make myself feel better for returning home and staying longer than I ever should have. What I forgot was that I had other skills to use. My mother taught me how to crochet. You would think that you can't do anything with that but show visitors of your home that you have a whole lot of time on your hands. However, there are craft shows, consignment shops, gift stores, and online boutiques that would welcome hand made crafts. I also know how to draw and paint. You would think that there isn't a big market for artists either but there are large companies with lobbies that change their art from time to time and other businesses coming up everyday not to mention online galleries for exposure (see my gallery below). Also along with me having a degree, I can write and help people do what they need to do. This might not be a huge paycheck by themselves but working all three can make a living until the next thing comes along. This is being innovative which cannot come about when your life is in clutter and constant turmoil. Who knew that such a simple thing as putting away your toys could take you from destitute to productivity?<br />
<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+6:4&version=NIV">(Ephesians 6:4 NIV)</a>, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+24:27&version=AMP">(Proverbs 24:27 AMP),</a> <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%206:9-11&version=AMP">(Proverbs 6:9-11 AMP)</a>makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203963077876141897.post-67969928818650467432010-02-20T14:31:00.000-08:002010-02-20T14:31:29.152-08:00Walking Requires EffortPeople try to sort confused lives because they decide that they can get something for nothing. It just doesn't work.<br />
<br />
Even when you think you can cheat the process by speeding up steps to gain the desired goal, it is never the joyfilled event you expect it to be.<br />
<br />
I have many family members who are college graduates (including me). There is not one of us who had the privelege of obtaining that education without hard work. I have witnessed those whose parents, planned and saved for their children. It is good; however, those that I witnessed that didn't have to toil and struggle financially for their degree, found much to complain about once achieved. From not having a large enough salary to the environment from which they were employed. The ones who labored to obtain knowledge were grateful to get a job. The ones who were given the tuition had higher expectations. <br />
<br />
I suppose we can pull pros and cons from both; however, it doesn't take the perspective away from planning and prioritizing.<br />
<br />
If you don't make the effort to work out a detailed 6 month, 1 year, 5 year, and 10 year plan with goals in place, you have no one to blame when the "golden years" are only a couple of decades away and you have nothing to show for the life that has been given you <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2024:27&version=AMP">(Proverbs 24:27 AMP).</a>makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203963077876141897.post-78138256539504649752010-01-20T06:19:00.000-08:002010-02-17T09:53:51.578-08:00DisciplinedWhether liberal parents would like to believe it or not, children do like structure. They have no way of knowing what is right and what is wrong without someone giving some sort of guidelines to abide by. They may start off liking that they have no rules and pretend for awhile to be your friend because you are "the cool" parent, but shortly (and more sooner than later) those same wayward children will resent their so called "cool" parent because they are not well liked, they don't know how to resolve problems, and they don't know why they have to do what anyone tells them to.<br />
<br />
Though I have written about parenting and discipline in various forms before, I am not referring to that same topic now. What I am recalling are all of those lessons I received while growing up and the benefit they have on me now. I am sure we have all received the same lessons in order for us to function successfully. However the one that seems to be resounding in me now is the one of having a clean home. These days with parents being so busy trying to keep a roof over their families' head and it being necessary to have 2 incomes, there doesn't seem to be time for teaching the importance of having a clean home. What I have learned over the years that its more important for there to be order, rules, a place for everything and everything in its place; so not to be rigid but to have freedom to deal with everyday issues that happen rather than allowing them to mount up into a mountain. <br />
<br />
I suppose the lesson was really driven when watching the series on A&E network of <em>Hoarders.</em> These people may have never been the organizing type and for whatever reason justifies the filthy condition of their homes. They know there is a problem but when it comes time to solve it, they come up with so many excuses and reasons as not to get it resolved. The organizers find that with these people it is a mental condition that came about because of a traumatic situation such as a loss in the family, some physical ailment, or another mental condition that stemmed into hoarding. The last episode I saw was an educated woman who didn't go out to buy a myriad of new things but didn't throw away her garbage, It got so bad that she couldn't get to the bathroom and wore disposable adult diapers because of it. When the diapers were soiled, she didn't throw those way either. She finally got to the age where she was to retire and needed to have some sort of an income. Her daughter, who had lived in these conditions all of her childhood was looking to help her mother move but only if she found help to do so. When she came to see about her mother she told of how her mother could not even sleep in her bed but tied herself to a portal medical toilet so that when she dosed off she wouldn't fall into all of the mess she had created around herself. It was to no avail. She fell asleep and in so doing she fell with the toilet tied around her. She was wedged in and couldn't get herself out of it. They found her surrounded in her own waste.<br />
<br />
In talking with her daughter she finally agreed that it was too much for her to even contend with so she was willing to move. She also agreed to have her home professionally cleaned so she could sell the home and have an income to live on while transitioning into a care facility. As the professionals came to assess the damage in the home and to clean it, they realized the cleaning process would be for the health of the mother to see what she had done over the years but the house in of itself had to be condemned. As they moved bag after bag of soiled adult diapers, the woman watched and smiled even made jokes about the garbage. The daughter didn't see the humor and had concluded that her mother could not live with her but had to be in a home for the elderly. She knew that the collecting would begin the moment her mother was in a new place - her home.<br />
<br />
Its funny that the daughter claimed when she moved away from her mother that she did not pick up the habit of collecting garbage though she had lived with it her whole life. She made up in her mind that it was not a way she was going to live especially when she learned there was a better way. She found this when her friends in school would invite her to a sleep over. She marveled at the way others lived and set a goal for herself.<br />
<br />
Would this not be true of anything we do? No matter what we have been taught from our parents, if we decide to do something different as long as there is a plan and determination in place, could it not happen? Would this also be true of one's health? Doctor's say that because of heretiary conditions, we will have the same problems as our parents. If one parent is diabetic, then we have a 50% chance of also being diabetic. If both parents are diabetic then it is inevitable that we will be also. But what if we were to study our parents and see that one would not stay home for one weekend but worked nonstop for the goal of just loving to work. Because of never resting and using caffeine as fuel, he had heart disease. Wouldn't it be common sense not to have that same kind of lifestyle so not to have the same results?<br />
<br />
It is true that we tend to model behavior after those who raised us but its just not written in stone that we have to cling to the way they did things. Don't get me wrong, if it is good and it works, by all means, do that - but know what is good and what isn't. Both of my parents smoked while I was growing up. My mother smoked cigarettes and my father smoked cigarettes, a pipe, and occasionally a cigar or two. I liked the smell of the cigar and pipe but I never had the desire to smoke any of it. Granted when I was little I would go into their car and light up the butts left in the ashtray, but that was only pretending to be grown up. Once grown, (or in those few years) it made no sense to me to be spending that amount of money weekly just to burn it up. I didn't have to discipline myself not to smoke, I just decided I have no need for it.<br />
<br />
What about you? Is it absolutely necessary for you to eat late at night or have the sweet snack just because you feel like having something sweet? Why do you procrastinate to do the laundry week after week? Why buy more clothes when all you have to do is wash what you have? Why make the landlord wait for the rent when you got your paycheck? He could have been one of the first people paid off. Why make excuses to not exercise when you know what the outcome of that will be? Clean up the mess you make around you. If nothing else, wash your own dish when you are finished eating. Make your own bed when you get up from it. Make sure you don't leave trash yourself when you get up from the living room. You don't have to wait for the NewYear to make the resolution, do it now! Establish a goal, write it down to make the steps to obtain it. Where do you see yourself 6 months from now, a year from now, 5 years from now, 10 years and so forth and so on? What I use to teach to my clients is, failure to plan, is a plan to fail.<br />
<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs%2022:6&version=KJV">(Proverbs 22:6 KJV)</a>makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203963077876141897.post-84292250399764587472009-12-22T17:52:00.000-08:002010-07-16T13:24:54.000-07:00Who Are We Supposed To Trust?I have pondered the trust question for sometime. Allbeit, this was well after my twenties, because at that stage in life if someone said they are going to do something, you expected them to do it. Granted, people gave up those ideals while some others become jaded due to circumstances or just listening to the news.<br />
<br />
We know that it is the norm for politicians to make promises they cannot keep. Their purpose to be elected. Where did they learn that from? Their parents? Maybe not. I remember in the micro-cosim - high school, I ran for student government. I tried not to make a bunch of promises that I couldn't keep but it just seemed that the people were needing to hear those things. Was it suppose to make them feel better that those running for student government aren't perfect or was it a temptation for the candidates that just couldn't be fought? I won my election in that tiny micro-cosim based on lots of prayer and stating, "do you want the best? I know you do!" I didn't have anything to feel guilty about. What says the politician? What says to those who elected them?<br />
<br />
Delving into the government further because they think they have the pulse of the food industry, who said it was alright to spray and add stuff to my food to increase the shelf life? I bought an apple. It was red, full, and I expected it to be as juicy and sweet as it looked. I bit into the equivalence of a sponge. Upon a closer look, there were small black pin dots on the skin. If one doesn't look one would have never known that those small dots are indicative of the fruit being rotten. It just looks good in hopes that the consumer will buy it, take it home, find the problem and not bring it back. That's .70 cents that doesn't have to be returned. The dollar is made at the expense of the consumer. Hm, and the econmy is down because of what?<br />
<br />
We have watched certain television personalities and grown to trust their credibility in delivering to us information we would have not received otherwise. There was a local anchorman that the city's residents enjoyed on a daily basis. Not only could he deliver the news with such fortitude, he also had his own commentary. His opinions became well known. He could have directed the people to vote, purchase, rally, picket, or protest in any venue he chose. This was the power he had. Then he was found in a compromising position. Not once but a few times to the point of him losing his job. The station lost their ratings and the management had to get busy in developing someone else to take their star newscaster's place. This would take years and they knew it. In the mean time the city searched for another hero.<br />
<br />
I suppose I contemplated this subject because I can recall Orson Welles playing a joke on the American people. Not that I was there, I was entirely too young. It was through others and reading it for myself. He had a well known radio broadcast by which he interrupted to tell the listeners that the world was being invaded by aliens. It sounded like a breaking newstory. It was the radio. There was nothing the people could see for themselves so they had faith in what they heard. I suppose it wasn't that long before the radio and Orson Welles told the people it was a joke, but what does one call not long when you are in a state of panic? Who died of a heart attack, committed suicide or lost their mental abilites just because of a joke and the trust that was put into a man? Those things weren't doumented or if they were, the numbers weren't made public.<br />
<br />
Times are changing. People don't rally against wrong as much as they use to. Car insurance in some states is a joke. How can you be sued for an accident you didn't cause or wasn't even in either car when the accident occured? Yet in some states there are laws governing just that. What is the health insurance policy going to look like? Who will get medicaid. Why won't there be enough social security for the next generation when that generation paid their taxes too? Who would have ever thought that you would be paying for water (bottled), air (car tires), and television (cable)? Who has the answers? Who is going to tell the truth? Who should we trust? Should we rely on what the dollar can do or what is written on it?<br />
<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah%2026:3&version=KJV">(Isaiah 26:3 KJV)</a>makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203963077876141897.post-78648738335095116732009-11-30T09:20:00.000-08:002010-02-17T09:49:39.011-08:00ChangeIt is the title to the only song Michael Jackson sung that made me cry. In the lyrics he sung, "there's no message that can ever be more clearer..." And he is right. It is the same message that the bible is based on -love.<br />
<br />
People will use verses and events in the bible to stand on their platform of hate but if they took the time to actually read it they would find that the wars that are written in those verses show the hate of others and to what extent they took it. Other wars are for the purpose to stop the evil plan and in order for that man who started to choose to wipe that colony completely out. The documenting of those things are to teach us what to do and what not to repeat.<br />
<br />
Instead we justify the reason to argue, blame others for your own mistakes, be selfish, and stay that way just so you can have your own way? Relationships whether business or personal are destroyed because of these platitudes. Why must your point be made rather then staying silent? Why should you be the one to make the speech instead of someone else? Why should the spotlight be on you? Why is it necessary for you to have the last word?<br />
<br />
This past weekend (originally written in September), my children got together, bought groceries, and made dinner at my home so they could have a family meeting with me. I have had meetings before with them when they were much younger and to my surprise, they got together at times and met without me. But this Sunday, they came for the purpose of staying close and to keep abreast of what everyone else was doing. They knew that their experience to handle some of their issues is limited so they decided to be quiet and allowed me to speak. I was pleased to see how they have matured and placed those adolescent ways behind them. The compassion and sensitivity that I knew they had couldn't be used when the how-would-that-be-good-for-me thought processes were trying to spill out of their mouths. They were quiet and they listened.<br />
<br />
You don't have the ability to force others to change. All you can do is change you. As surprised as I was (more like hurt) that my children would dare to meet without me, they needed that and I had to allow for them to do it without disputes. I had to be quiet and let them say what they needed to; because I didn't do the matriarch thing and speak in a booming voice that I can, they could listen to each other and at the given time to me. It was humbling for me to see and still taught how not to be.<br />
<br />
The bible teaches us this very lesson to be quiet and listen to what others are trying to convey. You would be more readily to hear their hurt, their anger, and their hidden tendencies to do something criminal. It takes Wisdom not to blurt everything out without thinking. It takes Wisdom not to complain and be critical of every teenie tiny nit picky thing along the way. It takes Wisdom to pick up the socks without being told. It takes Wisdom just to shut up and listen. So change already; enough with the stupid things you think are so profound in.<br />
<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James%201:19&version=KJV">(James 1:19 KJV)</a>makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203963077876141897.post-34287659554725841002009-10-30T18:52:00.000-07:002010-02-17T09:47:41.398-08:00Out of BoundsI wrote in another blog about boundaries and to some degree this is about setting boundaries as well but for different reasons.<br />
<br />
Over the weekend I had a conversation with an elderly woman. She usually gives me her overflow of groceries that were given to her but because of her health, she cannot consume certain foods. So I receive it and am grateful for it only this last time she kept telling me what she was giving and also added a package of kosher hotdogs where she had opened and used one for her dog. Her dog didn't like it and she couldn't use it because of the salt. For the first 3 times that she said this through out the week, I didn't say anything. I am consciously aware of offending people and I wasn't ungrateful so what harm would it do if I just stayed quiet and throw away the unused dog food?<br />
<br />
While some may think, why sweat it just be happy that you get anything at all and for many (with other matter similar) years I did just that. However, what does that say about how much I respect myself and how this woman will respect me in the future? Let me paint a more clear picture.<br />
<br />
I work in a Jewish community and have been noticing such differences with the Orthodox Jews as opposed to those who don't share the same views but of the same ethnicity. One particular woman asked for a dessert in the dining hall and once she unwrapped the cellophane off of it, she decided it wasn't what she thought it was. She heard someone else ask for the same dessert so she offered hers. The other Jewish women around her became so perturbed with her they voiced how she shouldn't do that. She was embarrassed and instead of apologizing or telling the women off, she came to me. I suppose she believed that I knew nothing about the culture as she went on and on about how her friends treated her. I allowed her to go on for so long until I asked, "would you have taken the dessert from someone else?" She answered, "but I didn't even touch it!" She knew that it wasn't the point. She is Orthodox. They all are; and they were all insulted by her actions which anyone else would have thought to be an act of generosity.<br />
<br />
It was the very incident I brought up with the elderly woman who gave me the opened package of kosher hotdogs. Before I could finish reminding her of the incident that she recalls because she was there, she apologized for even putting the hotdogs in with the rest of the gorceries. Because she was quick to apologize without me finishing what I was saying, it let me know that she knew she wouldn't have done this to anyone else. Now I had to make the special effort not to be insulted.<br />
<br />
I am an African American woman. Though I am not elderly, I am not pre-pubescent having no knowledge of social class and what people really think of each other whether overt orcovert. I am also a counselor/social worker which I enjoy immensely. Because of my childhood and the many places I have traveled, it is rare that I play the race card with others though I do laugh and joke about my own race in comparison with those that are close to me. In this case, it was evident that the race card was played even without me knowing.<br />
<br />
In my years as a social worker I have been made privy as tot he overall understanding of how African Americans are viewed in a non-white society. I was told with one culture that Blacks are viewed one way and Christians are viewed lower than that. If a Black man was also a Christian, I would rather not imagine how he would be thought of. Here in America, upon my return so many years ago from Europe, I was hoping - infact believing that predjudice was a faint memory leaving a bad taste in our mouths; however, not forgetting those cruel years so the next generation doesn't make the same mistakes should be or only reason for bringing the subject up. Healing has begun and making a new wound is pointless. Well, that's what I was believing; and then my youngest son came to live with me while he attended college. He brought with him his young views about not caring what others think and just be himself. Where did he get that crap from?<br />
<br />
For the first few weeks I watched what he wore and how he carried himself and I really was going to let it go but then I recalled how hard I had to work to get the respect of these Jewish people. They had preconceived notions that Blacks are lazy, welfare recipients, baby makers, don't and won't get a job, uneducated, and we just love fried chicken. One woman asked how many children do I have and when I told, her response was, "you really like sex!" Who says that? Then I found she has one child less than I yet she lied to me saying she had only one daughter. Another man being computer illiterate asked for help. Afterwards, when completing his internet tasks was amazed that I knew as much as I did and asked, "where did you learn all of that?" It was extremely hard not to be sarcastic using a voice as if I had just jumped off of the turnip truck with Jethro and Billy Bob. Another time someone saw me drawing a Christmas motif of 2 turtle doves and asked,"what did the picture look like before you did all of that to it?" I turned the page to a blank sheet of paper. I looked at her while her jaw dropped looking as blank as the paper.<br />
<br />
Incident after incident I had to react in a manner contrary to my emotions and what these people believed. The information about me spread like wildfire in the community and after more than a year, I got the respect that others receive with little to no effort. My son staying with me and his young adult views took all of my hard work back to where it began and it frustrated me that he couldn't see what took me many years to see myself. I explained how astonished they were to find that I have a degree. How a man thought he could amaze me by asking in Italian if I could speak the language. Having understood him, I answered no in English but asked, "Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" His response was, "Oooh-oh." I mimicked him and then asked, "parlez vous Francais?" To wit he answered, "uh-oh!" I was exonerated from being uneducated, though he didn't know the real struggle would have begun with me trying to recall High School French.<br />
<br />
It took some time, but my son finally gets that being himself also includes not allowing for people to believe whatever they will about you. We set boundaries by respecting ourselves first. We don't dress any kind of way before coming out of the house and our language should be conducive of not being raise in a cave. People actually do change for the better but it happens when we as individuals make the changes within. Stop being so emotional and acting on offenses. Instead, get an education and react to things you can change. Detroit's Public School System has shut down over 40 schools and have bordered up a number of libraries. Now there's something to react to!<br />
<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=hosea%204:6&version=KJV">(Hosea 4:6 KJV)</a><br />
<a href="http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=13146">http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=13146</a><br />
<a href="http://www.stephenvoss.com/blog/2009/04/in-the-rust-belt.html">http://www.stephenvoss.com/blog/2009/04/in-the-rust-belt.html</a>makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203963077876141897.post-91460359935249603312009-09-21T04:20:00.000-07:002010-02-17T09:46:05.910-08:00A Hopin' and a Prayin'In these times where the economy seems to have a life of its own, we tend to speak things that we would rather not do. For instance, an old saying that I haven't heard in awhile is "desperate times calls for desperate measures." This is like a warning to all that hears that something not so profitable for someone else is about to happen or it is a justification for doing something one knows is wrong. If weighing matters to the point of contemplating thievery, I would say go seek counsel. Actually for any matter where you think it would be best to do something insane, no matter if the economy improves or not - go seek counseling.<br />
<br />
Counseling, in its own vein can be an outstanding resource if the homework of research is done before hand. Counselors have to get paid too so those desperate times thing can be still in the corners of their minds as well. If an employer does what he does to ge the best employee he can by way of reviewing an application, calling references, administering a drug test, and these days even using the resources of obtaining a criminal background check, how much more so are we to go and do our research to employ a person who will receive the personal information we wouldn't tell our own parents?<br />
<br />
People, as my son has told me numerous times, are people. The very same ones that we avoid because of their distasteful personality traits are the same we pass by, are our coworkers, supervisors, neighbors, brothers, and parents. We have no choice but to deal with what is set before us; however, with whom we choose to be our clergy, doctor, lawyer, dentist, counselor, various agents, and friends is completely our own doing. When that bad advice comes our way and we have nothing else to go on, whatever the outcome is our fault. We have no one else to blame but ourselves.<br />
<br />
In this day and age we have so many resources available to check anything out that has been told to us. We have libraries, bookstores, the internet, the bible, and other professionals with the same degree. Why get one opinion and bank what we have on that. How can we listen to one diagnosis that will change the course of our life and believe it is the right thing to do? I wonder of these celebrities that are no longer with us and they thought they were getting the best treatment that money can buy, yet they were not saved by what they received. If something isn't working why still use it?<br />
<br />
The saying that my son uses people will be people comes from him understanding that we all have lives to live. We all have obstacles to face. What makes us think that just because we hire professional people that they are actually going to be professional? They have their own issues too. What if a well known medical surgeon was just about to perform some radical emergency procedure and just when he was about to leave for work he had an argument with his wife to the point of her saying that she would like a divorce. How professional will he be in the operating room? Will he need to reschedule? How would you know that he is having issues and is too prideful to say so? How do you know right at the time he is near a major artery did he not go over the intense verbal battle he had moments before he came to work. There he is with the scaple and gritting his teeth at what was spewed to him from his wife. Would he cut too deep or at the wrong place? Has it happened before? How would you know?<br />
<br />
What about receiving wise counsel from someone who doesn't like men and the counseling is for the purpose of marriage? Would the counselor be objective? How would you know? Would you take the advice for what it is or for the gold the counselor believes it is?<br />
<br />
I questioned a surgeon once and he became indignant stating that I need to find myself another doctor. I couldn't have agreed with him more. If you can't answer my questions, you have no business being a medical professional.<br />
<br />
Is this a post on how we should believe in a higher power that watches and sees all so we should pray to Him. No, for me, that is a given. This is a post to solidify even after prayer you still have work to do in order to be assured that who you have working for you is there to do the best job your money can buy. First you pray then do the research. Whether you believe it or not I just proved to you a scripture in the bible which states: faith without works is dead <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James+2:26&version=KJV">(James 2:26 KJV).</a>makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203963077876141897.post-91390004005895336402009-09-08T21:35:00.000-07:002010-02-17T09:44:46.219-08:00UndisciplinedThe purpose of a euphemism is not to be blunt as to speak the actual word intended. Some may have delicate ears and to sugar coat the word has the meaning without the harsh intent. The trouble with that is your point doesn't drive the listener home to do anything different than what he or she has been doing. The euphemism causes the behavior to be shrugged off or a cute cliche is used to minimize change. One I recall often used is "boys will be boys." I wholly detest that phrase.<br />
<br />
For this subject matter the title is a euphemism for wild. The term wilding was used in the 80's for the behavior of teens in Central Park (located in New York) terrorizing pedestrians for no other reason than being bored. Take one of those teens and place that one teen in a tiny position of authority; like behind the register of a fast food joint, the dispatcher to get your cab, the teller at a bank, the customer service rep to get your utilities turned on, (to name a few) and what kind of conversation would you have in order to get from point A to point B? I had such the conversation.<br />
<br />
It was such a simple request. A request that many have had and created a position for because of the high demand. What was that hiring process like? Was the employer manipulated with sob stories about feeding hungry children or a parent needing a kidney? Or was he just on drugs? What would possess a relatively intelligent HR official to actually use the phrase, "you are hired" to an individual I had the displeasure of speaking to? All she had to do was schedule me a shuttle from one very popular place and back to my original destination. She had all of my personal information and then asked me for a numbered address. It is a very large and well known place that takes up most of the city's block, on a corner, of two well known streets in our area where many shuttles have been over and over. She persisted with getting from me a numbered address. All I could picture was a list of addresses that the shuttles frequent within arm's reach and she refused to say that she knew what and where I was speaking of. She maintained that without the address I could not get a shuttle and if there was anything else she could help me with. "Yeah, pull up <em>mapquest</em> (c) on the computer you clicked all of my information on and add in the address you....you..." No, I didn't say that though I was frustrated enough to use a few choice words. She had what she needed from me and refused to do as I requested. No matter what I said, I could hear the attitude rise in her voice, the sheer pleasure she got to hang up the phone satisfied with the last word being, no. I called back hoping to speak to a completely different person. The attitude was such a marked improvement and if I didn't have the address, she would have looked it up.<br />
<br />
But this behavior is also noted when on the inside with the coworker. I have a tendency to focus on the job at hand. If there is a long line, I have been trained to do whatever it takes to get the customers what it is needed so they don't have to wait. I put myself in their shoes knowing that I would be annoyed, standing for a long period of time to spend my money for an establishment to continue to give me poor service? That makes no sense. So there I am working like a banshee (that means really hard) and my coworker stops me to have some really and truely asinine conversation. She is off duty but has the attitude seeing that we are coworkers, I should stop doing what I am hired to do and talk. When I didn't, she paused like I am the crazy one!!!<br />
<br />
What is going on? If I complain about poor serivce - the service gets worse or I don't get service at all. If I don't wish to eat raw chicken, burnt toast, or eggs that are too runny I risk getting a plate of disguised spit. If I honk at someone about to side swipe me, the probability of that person having road rage has gone from socially unacceptable to "why did you have to honk at him"? Yes, that would mean I am to blame for side swiping myself.<br />
<br />
Those teens from the 80's have grown with children of their own. What wasn't learned is instilled in the fruit of their loins. Will they out number decency, morality, values, and ethics, or will anarchy be the norm?<br />
<br />
A doctor told me he deliberately caught a disease just to see what it felt like. An elderly African American woman asked me in tears how would you answer the question, why are blacks dysfunctional, stagnate, and lack direction because it was asked of her. An elderly Caucasion man, after receiving help from me to work a computer, asked me where I learned all of that from? Oh, did I mention, I am African American. A Jewish woman having 4 children of her own, unbenounced to me, learned that I have 5 children. She stated, "you must really like sex!" She told me that she has only one daughter. When I learned otherwise I confronted her. She denied what she said and sheepishly grinned. <br />
<br />
Busted? Yeah, we all have our schisms and issues (some call them demons) that we have to contend with - so contend, don't just step into the ring and lie down on the canvas. Punch back! Use an upper cut - something! Is it me or does one say, that's life and it is what makes the world interesting? Those people raised others to be just like them! <br />
<br />
I remember when my mother would come home from work she would take off her shoes at the door which also happened to be the entrance to the living room. At the end of the week, having not worn the same shoes everyday, there were a collection of shoes that had to be removed every Saturday when we did major house cleaning. It was frustrating for the sibling, having been assigned the task to clean the living room, to remove the shoes every week. But it was done without an audible word - it is Mom's house. Because of Mom's habit, I had to make a conscious effort not to take my shoes off at the door of my own home. I still catch myself from time to time but I made the decision not to do that just so the living area can stay tidy and easier to clean. A small example still a colossal analogy for each and everyone of us to make a decision and use some effort behind it.<br />
<br />
It is the difference of speaking what you feel and thinking before you speak. It is the difference between impulse and a quality decisions. It is the difference between acting on emotion and stepping back to look at the big picture. What are we teaching our children? They will be the next generation running the country. Will they treat others the way they would like to be treated so we can look forward to the future?<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+6:38&version=KJV">(Luke 6:38 KJV)</a>makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203963077876141897.post-51709771146914135922009-09-03T19:14:00.000-07:002010-02-17T09:38:57.743-08:00If Everyone Started Off as EqualIf anyone has ever struggled with purchasing school clothes for your children or remember the hassel in your own childhood to get the right look, hopefully you will be empathetic to what you are about to read.<br />
<br />
I got this notice some years back that the elementary public school system was going to make it mandatory for all children to wear uniforms. My first reaction was that someone was reaching into my family and trying to control what I do with my children. My plan: I had to fight this. All of my reasoning seemed rational enough though I detested going through that mall maze with other parents trying to make the children happy with the latest fad. It would just be something different next season, costing more than you planned. Knowing some child wouldn't have it (more than likely mine) and compensating throughout the year was a guilt trip I wouldn't wish on anyone. Yet, no one should control what I do and don't with my children.<br />
<br />
Given ample time, it came right to the last minute when my child was given notice to comply with the rules. Rules? A dress code has now become a rule for parents to abide by? I won't do it! I thought, looking at my child what I could afford and barely making ends meet, I knew financially and for peace of mind, it was the best thing for the children and to alleviate whatever administration was going through just to get the uniform rules passed.<br />
<br />
All of my children have since graduated high school and have gone to college. My son recently mentioned what a good idea school uniforms were. He said the kids whose parents had more money couldn't lord their designer clothes over the poorer kids. I realized that it was a learning tool for the children to get to know each other looking beyond the outward appearance.<br />
<br />
I thought about that for a moment and still dispelled with what might have been good intentions. Though the playing field might have been leveled for everyone to start out as equals, it is still the parents that caused the differences with the children. Those that wouldn't do for their children (clean, provide, find the right fit, laundry, etc.) didn't change their ways. Given a few semesters those same children who didn't have, due to neglect, had dingy shirts with missing buttons, the pants were too tight or too big and the hand-me-down shoes never did look well on anyone.<br />
<br />
I might have struggled and fought the system for a moment or two, but when given an opportunity for my children not to be considered the lowest on the social curve, I met it and assisted with what I could do for them to desire to do more.<br />
<br />
I have 5 children all of which are college bound. Degrees range from a family doctor to a culinary artist. I thank God that finally the government came up with a good idea where the only ones to blame for not catching the blessing is the parent.<br />
<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+20:7&version=AMP">(Proverbs 20:7 AMP)</a>makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203963077876141897.post-11093953123454686212009-08-31T16:31:00.000-07:002010-02-17T09:33:32.486-08:00PerspectiveWhether you have faith to believe this or not, just put it in perspective and use what you can get from these words.<br />
<br />
Gone are the days where the woman believes she can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, and will never let him forget he is a man. Gone are the days when the woman thinks she can do it all and have it all too. Gone are the days where the man continues to be a workaholic and have no time for anything else. Why are those days gone? Because we know better and that kind of thinking can put us in an early grave.<br />
<br />
God created the world and all that's in it in 6 days. On the 7th day, He rested. The bible says we (people) are made in His image. Why would we believe ourselves greater than the Creator? If He saw the need the to rest at, the end of 1 work week, why would we?<br />
<br />
Not having that kind of belief? Alright, then let's go back to thse days previously ,mentioned that have long since gone. Women's Lib brought the idea that a woman can have a career, manage a home (with children), and keep her husband happy. Studies have shown the increase women were having with their health as well during that exact same era. The complaints came later with being exhausted and realizing the domestic engineer was a thankless job in of itself. The resolve to those complaints were the increase of the divorce ratew. We can quibble witht he term irroncilible differences - but, com'mon it is just polite legalease for "I need some help and you aren'[t willing to do that."<br />
<br />
This would also answer to a woman doing it all and having it all - including children. This era was when a woman stated a ,an wasn't necessary for her to raise a family. We have since regained the perspective and see the need children have for a father. Along with craving discipline, it is well known that the patriarch factor in a child's life is paramount for emotional, mental, and an overall well being of health.<br />
<br />
The workaholic man has become a thing of the past because he has seen how he loses more than he gains without time to eat properly his health deteriorates. A diet of black coffee and fast food increases all sorts of health factors that he did not always have. Spending no time with his spouse allows her to seek what she needs elsewhere and the father is more of a stranger to his children. Why work all of the hours to provide when all that he provides for is lost?<br />
<br />
There are some stats of the well balanced and well rested human being of which I will provide in a later post. For the purpose of this post, however, you might not have the faith to believe what is written in the bible but you cannot continue to be ignorant of what man has observed with experience and discovered with experiments. Keeping balance in your life is a means of maintaining a long and healthy one.<br />
<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%202:2&version=KJV">(Genesis 2:2 KJV)</a>makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203963077876141897.post-28474933180161316012009-08-23T17:33:00.000-07:002010-02-17T09:31:18.384-08:00Raising CainNo one expects to raise a child like Cain from the bible. You have your children and you are supposed to love them equally but there he is. Looking at his parent and you know what kind of child he is yet instead of many parents doing what they need to with that child, they leave the child for the grandparent, an Aunt, a compassionate neighbor, someone who said they like children, or the public school system; as if they are appropriate parents or have the same kind of love a parent should have for his child.<br />
<br />
Children usually will tell you why they are the way they are. They just don't start off being brats. Its taught to them and its acceptable somewhere. So now the child finds where else that behavior is acceptable. And sooner than later he often does.<br />
<br />
Maybe its that Cain was assigned the tiller of the soil and he would have much rather been keeping the sheep. No one asked. It was just done. Would that also be true for our children today? Some of us can look at them and just know what they would do well in and some of us have said too much it was wrong. How do we see or know what is the best path for our children? How do we raise responsible adults so they could be happy and we, as parents, can be pleased with the work they are doing?<br />
<br />
I was nine years old when my sister was born. I remember babysitting her and teaching her things she had no idea existed. One of those things was being compassionate. She would get angry with me for taking her toy, bawl her little fist up, throw it behind her back for the most power she could muster to hit me for taking what belongs to her. It was hysterical, but I didn't laugh. Instead I let out a huge wail of a cry just to see what her reaction would be. She was surprised and stared for a moment. She put her little hands on her knees to bend down and study the expression on my face and then said quietly, "shh, shut up. Don't cry." Then I pretended to sniffle and look at her. She would pat my face and say again, "shut up." I would ask for a hug and she would ask me afterwards, "better?" I answered, "better," while nodding my head. She sighed in relief looking as if she never knew she could cause such damage. But it was a lesson learned that she maintained all while she was growing up being aware if she hurt anyone and what she could do to make it all better.<br />
<br />
As I became an adult and learned about our social environment, I found that being cruel and selfish aren't taught. <em>That</em> seems to come naturally, but compassion is a decision to have and to be cultured for it to be intuitive. But this is one of the things that comes with discipline as one raises a decent human being.<br />
<br />
Children don't have much to do. As they get older, a responsible parent gives his children chores while the child is still learning to habitually be hygenic. These chores, as much as they hem and haw in doing them, gives the child a sense of well being. The child is less likely to trash something that he has cleaned on a regular basis. When his friends come to visit, the child will make sure that the house (or his room) is kept in the manner that it was before his friends came in. This would not be true of a child who is allowed every benefit (car, ipod, own cell phone, own computer, and every new electronic device known to man). Why should he? He knows that in time he will get everything he asks for without any effort of his own doing.<br />
<br />
My now ex-husband told me a childhood story that left me stunned at the prospects of what the parents of the house would do to their child. The child knew better not to have company over when his parents weren't home but did it anyway. My ex was one of those five boys that came over. When they were all relaxed laughing and joking amongst themselves, one of the boys fell into the diningroom wall and left an impression of his behind in it. He was surprised at first, but then busted into a raucous laughter as with the other boys. But the child who resided there wasn't laughing and started to end the gathering. But the boys were having too much fun and before he knew it, one of them had put his foot in another wall. They were all hysterical with laughter when they all decided to do the same thing. As my ex was telling me this, he could barely contain himself, still laughing at what he had done as a child. I asked, "what did the boy do when his parents got home?" The laugher in the voice of my ex became soured and he was a little annoyed that my question would ruin such a pleasant childhood memory for him, "I don't know," he said with no concern.<br />
<br />
Sure that was then, but what I saw was that he was the same little boy who didn't think anything was wrong with it back then and would more than likely have the boys will be boys attitude now. What's happened with this generation? Haven't we learned what to say and not to do from our parents or are we going to disregard all of their experiences. Why do we have to be burned if our parent told us that the stove is hot? Do we really have to see for ourselves? Experience can be the best teacher but it can also get you killed.<br />
<br />
So how would one raise Cain to be a responsible, successful adult? Dilligently, affectionately, prayerfully, and if you don't have the patience to do any of those things, professionally. In other words, take Cain to someone who is willing to do what you won't.<br />
<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2022:6&version=KJV">(Proverbs 22:6 KJV)</a>makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203963077876141897.post-64184698370816523272009-08-23T11:10:00.000-07:002010-02-17T09:30:04.032-08:00Ah Medicine!The medical profession have done scores and scores of good works. Technological achievements have assisted medicine greatly in saving lives and giving people a better outlook on what could have been quite grim. Doctors, dentists, chiropractors, gynecologists, psychiatrists, podiatrists, endocrinologists and all of the others, I applaud them and all of their successes and hopefully have learned from their failures never to repeat them again. I am so thankful for the profession as a whole.<br />
<br />
Nevertheless, as with many, there are those who just have to make it bad for the rest. The ones who didn't study as much and it is more important to look good in the white coat then it is for the test to come back with the right diagnosis. I have had some pretty horrific experiences with the ones that couldn't care less of the human condition but more for that paycheck and which is the next vacation spot he/she will be visiting in the next 10 days whether there are patients waiting or not.<br />
<br />
I came to write this piece when a client told me of the issues she was having worrying about so many things in her family. Her own family doctor suggested she should see a specialist (implying a psychiatrist). She thought about it for a moment and said, "why would I do that? He doesn't know anything about me? All he will have me do is talk for an hour, charge me money I don't have, and then have me come back the next week to do it all over again. How will I get better and at the same time get poorer everytime I see him?" Her doctor paused for a moment and said, "you know, you are right." When she told this to me I thought I could console her and say well, some people need to talk more than once to get better. But then I thought, when does that happen? Would a psychiatrist have a better reputation and track record if he only saw patients on a need to basis? If all that was needed was a quick 15 minutes and the patient was grateful with word of mouth wouldn't his practice be even better? But who has that kind of integrity to take that chance?<br />
<br />
When I was first married I was pregnant with twins. I did all that the doctor told me to do and I also listened to the questions that was asked of me. They needed to know my age, my weight, if I had ever been pregnant before, do I smoke, drink, what amount of education do I have, and what do I do for a living. The other questions were reasonable enough, but what was with those last two questions? So I watched all of the other patients and the treatment they received based on the answers given. If the patient didn't have much education or not a better job, they were treated with less respect and asked to do unnecessary things. For instance, with my second pregnancy I wasn't as forth coming. I wondered why the doctor needed to give me a pap smear STAT in my 8th month because of the possibility of a sickle cell trait. I knew there was no such thing in my family nor in the family of my husband but I had to get back to his office fast! This was for my first pregnancy because they believed I didn't know any better and any test was a test that had to be paid for. I was given many pelvic exams during this time where students could practice and get their grades. I felt more like chattle then a young mother with many questions.<br />
<br />
The same also occurred with my childhood dentist. For as long as I could remember I have always had perfect teeth, meaning, cavity free. I was just going to go get a quick check up. It shouldn't take long. It never had before. When it was over the dentist looked over at my mother and began to tell her of a great product. It was a sealant that he wished they had when he was growing up. What it will do is create a protective coating around the enamel of my teeth and be less likely to get any cavities. I'm thinking what do I need that for? I have been doing great for 16 years! But much to my shagrin, Mom said yes. He gave me the instruction not to eat anything hot for 6 hours and to come back in 6 months for a check up. I did what I was told. How shocked was I to find in 6 months that I had 7 cavaties and one was a root canal! How could I have gone from 0 to all of that in 6 months?<br />
<br />
When I got older I had a job working with teens who also needed for us to make sure they received the proper medical treatment. I told 5 girls I was responsible for that they would not get that so called miracle sealant. One of the girls had a twin in another facility. She told her sister of my experience but her sister didn't listen and got the sealant. When we returned in the 6 months that was told for us to do, my girls were cavity free. The twin in the other facility had 8 cavities. The miracle sealant wasn't made for the betterment of people but for the increase of patients for the dentists.<br />
<br />
One time I wasn't feeling very well and noticed that I had boils that developed on the side of my rib cage. I went to the emergency room never having such a condition before and not knowing what else to do. I was seen soon enough and when the diagnosis was given, I actually felt better. But then the doctor asked so quickly if I would like to go back to work? What a strange question to ask. I wasn't feeling all that great to do the tasks I was hired to do, so sheepishly I answered, "no." He hurried off and a nurse returned with the medication the doctor perscribed. I was a huge horse pill but I needed it so the boils wouldn't return. Within a few minutes from taking the medication. The room began to spin and I felt so nauseated. I told the nurse and she said, "yeah, that's one of the side effects." She then gave me something to throw up in and walked off as if they go through this all of the time. People come in not so sick and leave with the medical emergency? Huh? <br />
<br />
Later, I asked a coworker who happened to be a registered nurse. She immediately said, "oh no, you are allergic to that. Don't take it anymore." I was stunned. Shouldn't the doctor have known that? But wait, he might have when he asked if I would like to go back to work or not. Did he think he was doing me a favor by making me feel like I was sick?<br />
<br />
Ah, the medical profession. To all of those who are on the up and up, thank you but I don't know if you are or aren't and if its all the same, I think I will be doing a lot more research having scores of questions before I go to any of you. I write this piece for all other laypersons who know nothing about medicine to do the same. Like your insurance, it will be to your benefit if you do.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah%2026:3&version=AMP">( Isaiah 26:3 AMP)</a>makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203963077876141897.post-44404182384929481322009-08-22T16:01:00.000-07:002010-02-17T09:28:10.589-08:00Just Practical!In watching T.V. I remember a time, that has apparently since passed, when I knew a particular program was a piece of crap and sooner than not the broadcasting company agreed and it was cancelled. I have enjoyed years of entertainment based on that collaboration of unspoken communication.<br />
<br />
So what happened? Did the big wigs of television production sell the broadcasting company or don't they care about what they show on the screen anymore? Are the producers paying off advertisers to keep the absurd televised or are we showing other countries that we are in desperate need of their kind of help?<br />
<br />
The latter must be the truth otherwise there wouldn't be so many different accents telling Americans how to dress (TLC's <em>Peter Perfect </em>and<em> How Do I Look</em>), how to raise our children (CBS's <em>Nanny 911</em> and ABC's <em>Super Nanny</em>), how to sing (FOX's <em>American Idol</em>), or if we have talent at all ( NBC's <em>America's Got Talent</em>) I know I am not alone with these thoughts, only those that have asked such questions to the specific hosts looked as if they had a few screws loose and could be a little bitter recuperating from being told that they have brats for kids, sing like a skinned cat, or their particular talent looked as if it was a joke. In my case, I have not been berated. I have all of my faculties about me; therefore in all good consciousness I would like to know why would America continue to allow themselves to be judged by people who make the majority of their money here and residents of their country come here to vacation? America is like paradise to many who don't reside here. Why would we desire foreigners to tell us what to do to change when they already enjoy what we have?<br />
<br />
Gordon Ramsey of FOX's <em>Hells Kitchen</em> makes it a point to train the challenging chefs to put out the best product for the customers, yet on one show of season 4, he told a dissatisfied customer to piss off. That's acceptable?!! We have seen our youth devastated from the verbal beating of not being up to par after one audition from those previously named programs. Did we have to see that and continue to do so season after season? Are the ratings that high to view public humiliation over and over again? The host of TLC's <em>Peter Perfect</em> came on an episode dressed like a Leprechaun and told the shop owner that she had to change <em>her </em>image. <em><strong>She</strong></em> was the one that needed to change?<br />
<br />
Don't get me wrong, I like reality T.V. and even some that are obviously scripted (which is far from reality), but when we allow those who are not use to the American culture to have a place of authority and influence the younger generation in ways that we did not teach - we can only blame ourselves for the finished product.<br />
<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2022:6&version=KJV">(Proverbs 22:6 KJV)</a>makeitplainlenora.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16448131205607708599noreply@blogger.com