Tuesday, April 27, 2010

My Dad Is Bigger Than Yours

I remember such words being flagrantly spoken on a playground. With boys it was the makings of a fight. With girls it was a moment for discussion and then the decision whether or not to remain friends. Which ever the gender, the mere fact of the matter that with a Dad being there, he served as a safe place. There was someone there larger than myself who knows more than me and Mom put together. He doesn't buckle under pressure and seems to handle every situation with ease. There was absolutley nothing to worry about.

These days there are too many children who physically grew up not knowing who their father is and what he can do. Unfortunately, no one says that it is because of the poor decisions made but it is lile growing with something missing. The necessity of having a father goes without saying seeing the plight of the "nuclear family" these days.

And so, not having the joy of playground antics by daring someone to have a bigger or better father, the  child grows with the pressures of the world on his/her shoulders. He starts believing that no one loves him and that swells into other matters. I have counseled such children trying to find other means for them to be successful adults. Once some path has been made clear, one announcement on the news or certain celebrity's untimely demise and that clearing vanishes.

Psychiatrists and child psychologists are now finding how much children really do need structure and discipline. Gone are those foolish years of being the child's best friend first before being a real parent. A parent is better than a child's friend any day of the week. The parent that came up with friendship first was more consicouly aware of getting older than what was best for the child. What does a child have to brag about when his middle aged mother is still trying to look like the "material girl" and his father (if there) has to shake off his new compact hot rod off his hip just to get out of it? Put yourself in that child's shoes, would you rather have been an orphan or be embarrassed by introducing either of those two people calling themselves your friends but are your parents?

Orphans are no longer living in halfways houses with others just like them as depicted in such movies as Oliver Twist, Orphan Annie, and the Chicago Boys. They seem to be everywhere. The products of women believing they could have it all visiting sperm banks periodically to the teenaged girls looking for Mr Right Now. Both of those types of women have to work to provide for what they choose to do and the fruit of their loins have to search for emotional maturation elsewhere.

That search for emotional maturation can lead to some mental illnesses. Where will they go? Who are they talking to? Who or what is it that is influencing them? How they think didn't come by osmosis. The cares of the world can be too much for any one person to bare. How does a child digest the headlines of homicides, suicides, genocide, and the like? Where is the father to explain these matters so the child can have that care-free life?

Personally, I had to believe that there is someone bigger than me. Someone who created this world and everyone it it. Someone who knew that people were going to make mistakes and someone was going to learn from them while others just gave up. Someone else has to shoulder the burden of all that has happened and what is still to come. It is my personal belief in God.

No matter what anyone else says and how they make fun of a being greater than myself, my faith in Him has given me peace that surpasses all understanding. Scoffers can say what they will but do they have a restful sleep at night? Do they find joy in the midst of their environment? Can they readily resolve daily pressure? I do, I can, I do.

I have this mighty God  - my heavenly Father, who is much bigger than those cares, burdens, and pressures (Psalms 55:22 NIV). So why carry it if you don't have to? If you never had a father, you can now. All you have to do is believe that He is.

Oh, and by the way, when those scoffers come to make fun ( and they will), notice the tone and anger in their voice. Why are they upset? Who are you hurting when you cast off those cares on God? Why would anyone be pleased with seeing you loaded down or oppressed? Could it be, that they know He is actually bigger?